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September 10, 2009

This Wonderful Life: Who are these little girls?


But that’s not how the morning progressed, and that’s what makes me so suspicious.

Bee was sitting calmly at the kitchen island eating her breakfast when Posey woke and, still rubbing her sleepy eyes, recounted a dream about Bee and a castle and a knight who saved her.

``You tell the best stories,’’ Bee said, in one of the few spontaneous, genuine compliments she has ever given her little sister. Moments later, Posey told Bee she was beautiful. Then Bee helped stir Posey’s oatmeal and kindly passed it to her.

Then Posey said, ``Thank you.’’

Then a sparkly unicorn flew down from the top of Panther Mountain and beckoned us to ride her far away to a land where eating chocolate makes you rich and buying shoes makes you smart!

Okay, so that last part didn’t happen, but it is no less fantastical than what did transpire.

Having grown up with only a brother, I have no direct experience with sisterhood. I ask a lot of questions to adults and children who are old enough to be a little reflective. The answers span the full spectrum.

It got easier as we got older.

It got so much harder when we were in middle school and high school. They’ll probably always be friends, like my sister and me.

If their relationship survives past college, they might have a chance at beginning a friendship.

One young friend with keen analytical skills said of her relationship with her younger sister: ``We are closest friends, but we can be the worst enemies.’’

I don’t doubt that for a minute. Girls can have a rare talent for being hurtful to other girls, and being close with someone means they know all your weaknesses, and you know theirs.

The challenge is to teach your daughters to lift each other up, cheer each other up and, when the time arrives, back each other up.

And if at all possible, teach one of them to make coffee.

Elizabeth Trever Buchinger knows you are, but what am I? You can connect with her at www.moremindfulfamily. wordpress. org.

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